Frustration is Fuel
On Thanksgiving day I was playing with Legos with my little niece on my mom’s living room floor. During the light-hearted family time I was reminded of the tantrums I used to throw as a youngster, triggered by such simple things as cleaning up Legos. I used to be so easily frustrated, going from zero to 100 in an instant.
In many ways, not much has changed. I still get upset, raise my voice, and even break shit in frustration.
I’ve held onto a lot of shame around this tendency to act like a toddler. So rather than simply being a rage-full little brat, I can find myself feeling like a shame-filled rage-full little brat!
I call this phenomenon making a thought sandwich - piling on layers of judgment, smothered in pity. I know you probably have no idea what I’m talking about… You probably have never had a thought sandwich. Well, you’re missing out on the sweet savory satisfaction of self-sabotage!
I’m kidding of course. Thought sandwiches, like any substance or behavior that inflates ego identity, just lead to a foggy hangover. The clarity we once had, somewhere sometime in the past, seems forever faded.
That’s more than enough reminiscing on heavy times. Back to the here and the now.
Here’s the insight I had: Frustration is fuel.
Frustration (and other pent up emotions) is like water behind a damn. We can let that water flow, like through a hydroelectric power plant, to transform and harness that emotional energy for good.
Forward progress - growth, learning, evolution - is so much more constructive than wallowing in sorrow, right?! On the other side of upset, I could get curious and objectively introspective rather than dwelling as a victim of my emotions.
I’m openly sharing a recent insight about this shadowy aspect of myself for two reasons.
I want to normalize the human experience - because 100% of all humans are…human. This means that we are subject to the endless stream of wild and crazy thoughts that flow into us. There’s no use trying to escape our humanness. But the good news is that we don’t have to believe everything we think. Thoughts are just silly, formless, intangible nothings. It might seem kinda weird and complex, but one thing is certain - you are not your thoughts.
To remind brother and sister humans that Life is for Learning, Healing, and Evolving. I capitalize these actions to suggest that we can move into this awareness at a deeper, soul-level. While my frustration fuels compassionate and constructive self-criticism, all challenging emotional experiences are also grist for the mill. This includes issues we face communally, nationally, and globally around matters of geopolitics, environment, economy, health, and so on.
In the future I know I’ll dig deeper to unpack the many things, processes, systems, and so on that perpetually strain the collective. Rather than voicing my dismay in a digital chamber of endless echos, I promise to bring this deepened insight - using frustration as fuel - to find creative solutions.
Bla bla bla. Of course, I know this hunt for transformation is not a novel one. The spontaneous evolution of mankind and our society is only ever fueled by our need to change and adapt. Additionally, all real breakthroughs, revolutionary inventions, great ideas, etc. come from dissatisfaction of the status quo.
However, can we intentionally evolve? Can we really create a more harmonious reality where true, lasting health and peace is not a fringe idea.
We know that doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is INSANITY. So why are we all insane? Why is real, tangible change, either on a personal or social/global level, such a rarity? What are the chances we can let frustration fuel transformation in the real world and not just a fairy tale?
I am an apocaloptimist - I know the world is going to shit through our own doing (or apathy), so it is only our own doing (and being) that creates the reality we all know to be possible, if at the least in our heart’s dreams.
Now let’s tap into that flow of pure creative energy and use it to propel us in a direction we want to be. Or just pick up the legos.